Men's Rosary

It is sad to see how many relationships are harmed by misunderstandings, hurts and other transgressions.   Being on the receiving end a person feels, rightfully so, like a victim.  As a result, in most cases, the issue is not dealt with and grudges are held for weeks, years, even a lifetime!  Unfortunately, the result of this is not any type of real healing, rather it is the death of relationships.  “He who covers an offense seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates close friends.”  (Proverbs 17:9) The negative effect of this behavior implicates the one at fault and the one on the receiving end.  The truth, many times ignored and sometimes unknown, is that situations like this can be BENEFICIAL to all parties involved!  There is healing and growth available to both sides of the equation. 

In reality, none of us are perfect.  We are all with sin and we all do things against each other.  True, some to a greater extent than others, but we must recognize our mutual failing.  God sees this and he is merciful!    “If you O Lord, should mark our iniquities, O Lord, who could stand?  But with you there is forgiveness, that you may be feared.”  (Psalm 130:3-4)  If we will set pride aside and humble ourselves to look at how we really are and how we treat others we may not be so quick to take offense when people trespass against us!  We are called to be God-like.  “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”  (Ephesians 4:23)  Furthermore, we are called to be imitators of God. “Therefore, be imitators of God, as beloved children.  And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.”  (Ephesians 5:1-2) 

In being harmed by someone’s actions, trespassed against, we are offered the opportunity to be like and imitate God!  We are also given the opportunity to be forgiven by God through our forgiveness of others.  St. Teresa of Avila discusses this with her sisters when speaking about the “Our Father” (Matthew 6:9-13) in  her  The Way of Perfection.  We pray, forgive us our trespasses, as we  forgive those who trespass against us.  The question she poses is how can one be forgiven if they do not forgive and how will they forgive if they are never trespassed against?  We should thank God for those trespasses and the ones who trespass against us for the opportunity to receive God’s mercy and forgiveness.  “For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your father forgive your trespasses.”  (Matthew 6:14-15)

We could have a change in thinking and see those who harm us as a blessing.  This is not to say to enjoy the bad, but to see the good within the bad.  It is said that the best school is the “school of hard knocks.”  Should this not be the same in all areas of our life, including our spiritual life and journey?  I know this is easier said than done, coming from someone who is known to have a temper!  But the virtue of meekness becomes important here.  To check our emotions enough to think through our action.  It is not the emotion; they are what they are.  Rather, it is our action as a result of the emotion that can lead us into sin.  Even being the one receiving the harm, the victim if you will, we can fall into sin depending on our reaction!  Our right reaction and offering of our sufferings and uniting them to Christs suffering keeps us out of sin and allows us to receive God’s blessings and mercy.

And what about the offender in these situations?  Our prideful and misguided actions will separate us from them and offers no opportunity of repentance for the person.  In right response, we not only open ourselves to God’s forgiveness and mercy, but we offer an example of God on earth.  We walk in imitation of Christ and offer a path to the Father for others.

We will only receive forgiveness in the manner that we forgive.  The path to forgiveness is forgiveness itself.  In a society of cancel-culture, of throw away mentality, of supermarket faith, we have an opportunity to love.  We have a platform to spread what Christ taught, to love one another as ourselves.  Instead of pride, embrace humility, in place of wrath and anger choose meekness and forgiveness.  In forgiving we can honestly ask God for forgiveness!

“Oh my God, forgive what I have been, correct what I am, and direct what I shall be.”  St. Elizabeth Ann Seton