Men's Rosary

I have come to learn that sometimes our best intentions can be damaging to ourselves and our spiritual health.  We seem to be caught in a race to make others happy and this is usually at an excessive cost.  The problem is, we do not see it at the time.  It is good to help others, and be responsible, right?  Yes and no.  We should help others but not at the cost of our well-being.  What I mean by this is that we have to weigh each situation.  If we go to the hospital emergency room, there is a triage nurse.  The role of this person is to assess the issue at hand and then prioritize each patient according to the level of need.  Without this the doctors would be in a whirl putting out fires and ultimately some would miss treatment needed and suffer dire consequences.  We must be our own triage nurse.  There may be others who can help in this role, such as a spouse, close friend, and spiritual director.

Herein lies the subject of thought lately.  In our work and businesses, we have demands made of us.  The bar is set, and we are expected to rise to the occasion.  We are pushed to cross the finish line.  But what motivates this?  By and large, it is not out of concern for our personal growth and well-being.  It is usually for the pleasure and profit of others.  This is not where we should find ourselves.  St. Paul says this very plainly. “Am I now seeking the favor of men, or of God?  Or am I trying to please men?  If I were still pleasing men, I should not be a servant of Christ.”  (Galatians 1:10)  With family and friends we are expected to be there when needed.  Sometimes it is almost as if they expect it on demand.  And what if we do not jump to help fix something, show up at a function or dinner or any other request?  Again, we may worry about what they may think of us.  Here again, we must take account of the level of need in the request.  Sometimes it may warrant our action and at other times it may simply appease the others.  We really have no obligation to the latter.  This is the way the world sets things up.  Everything now, in real time and the way I want it.  It is an egocentric and narcissistic model of life.  It is of the world.  However, this is something we really need to avoid at all cost.  St. Paul  warns us again, “Do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that you may prove what is the will of God, what is good, acceptable and perfect.”  (Romans 12:2)  How can we possibly renew our minds if we stay stuck in the “stinking thinking” that we have to rate in the world and stay on top?  Where is the time for prayer, scripture, spiritual direction, time alone in God’s creation? The blunt answer is that there will not be, and we will slowly digress to a point of spiritual starvation!  Being the man or woman of the hour and having all success is really meaningless.  This is not to say that it is wrong, but not at the cost of your soul.  God first, everything else after.  Ironically, when God is first, we usually see more success in our lives.   It is a trap to think that being in good standing with the world is assurance of any long-term stability or happiness.  As soon as someone else comes along that they can profit from more, they will move on from you.   “It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to put trust in princes”  (Psalms 118:8)

It has been said that as believers we are in the world, but we are not to be of the world.  Detachment from worldly accolades and opinions is crucial in maintaining this.  If we align our decisions with our faith, with what needs to be done to foster our relationship with God and offer the time to spend on things that bring us closer to him, we will undoubtedly receive pushback from the world.  This will come from all areas, including our immediate family.  However, in  the face of any trials that may come,  we must do it.  This is how we will better serve the very people who may take issue with our decisions and priorities!  It is good for the world.  The world just does not know it!  “Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal which comes upon you to prove you, as though something strange were happening to you.  But rejoice in so far as you share Christ’s sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed.” (1 Peter 4:13)

Our life is not for this world.  We were created to be with God for eternity.  While we live here in the world, we enjoy the blessings and gifts which God bestows upon us, for this was created for us.  The real point of life here in the temporary reality is to prepare for eternal life.  We need to have our house in order so we can be with God forever.  Anything we lose here in preparing to meet God is nothing in comparison to the reward that awaits us.  Nothing here is worth staying for.  Nothing here is worth losing eternity.  “For what does it profit a man, to gain the whole world and forfeit his life?” (Mark 8:36)

What good is being the best at the job, or business?  What good is being a model volunteer?  What good is being the go-to person of the family?  What good is any of this if one is spiritually deficient, or worse, spiritually dead?  The answer is obviously, no good at all!  I, for one, am committing more to making decision in congruency with my faith and spiritual health and less on the expectations of a shallow and spiritually ignorant world.  To not worry about the opinions and consequences of making right decisions based on faith and prayer for the betterment of my soul, trusting God will always provide.  I pray for the strength to be detached from the opinion of the world and to deepen my attachment to Christ and the will of God. I invite you to do the same.   This is a simple concept, but it is difficult.  Remember, with God all things are possible!

“To be always united to Jesus Christ we must do everything calmly, without worrying about the difficulties that may arise.  God does not live in troubled hearts.”  (St. Alphonsus Liguori)