Men's Rosary

Forgiveness can be elusive. Sometimes we say we forgive but really, we have not. There are too many times that after we say we forgive someone we harbor bad thoughts, indifference, hard feelings, or a general feeling of not caring what happens to them or in their life. This is a dangerous place to find oneself. “You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against the sons of your own people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the Lord.” (Leviticus 19:18) Forgiveness goes deep. It is more than the saying of the word, casually professing forgiveness as a means of moving away from the wrong and going about our prideful life. Forgiveness should bring about compassion. We should be able to look at the one who harms us as someone worthy of love and someone who should love. Any wrongdoing on the part of others should cause us to see the lack in their life due to a lower capacity to love, to understand, to forgive and be compassionate. Many times, it can be out ignorance or even pain and suffering. This is not something to be dealt with in a cavalier manner, rather, it deserves consideration and prayer, and ultimately, true forgiveness. Christ has given perfect example of this from the cross. “Put on then as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you must also forgive.”  (Colossians 3:12-13)

We may not be able to forget the wrong, but forgiveness is less about forgetting and more about transforming. Forgiveness opens our hearts to God’s mercy. This Divine Mercy transforms us and enables us to love as Christ loves. “In refusing to forgive our brothers and sisters, our hearts are closed and their hardness makes them impervious to the Father’s merciful love” (CCC 2840). To be stubborn and withhold forgiveness harms us and does nothing to change the other for the good. It diminishes our capacity to love and likewise diminishes our relationship with God. We have been given freedom, but this is freedom to make the right choice; not to do as we want. There are consequences to our choices. “To withhold forgiveness is to take poison and expect the unforgiving to die.”  (St. Augustine)

To be able to forgive, we must forgive ourselves. It is a trap to think that you cannot forgive yourself for things you have done and even worse to think God will not. He will! He has! The very essence of Divine Mercy is that God’s mercy is greater than our sins. Refusing to acknowledge this and not forgive ourselves is spiritual pride. We must trust in God’s mercy. A simple prayer, revealed to St. Faustina, and written on the Divine Mercy image, is “Jesus, I trust in you.” Jesus has invited us to his fountain of mercy and empowers us to share it with others. We are all called to his mercy, regardless of sins. Christ has said that “The greater the sinner, the greater the right he has to My mercy.” (St. Faustina’s diary #725) Forgiveness is an act of love and we must love ourselves. St. Thomas Aquinas taught that self-love is the gateway to loving others and fulfilling the charge to love our neighbor as ourselves.

Something to consider. As we learn to forgive ourselves and love ourselves, as God loves us and Christ loves the Church; we enable ourselves to love God fully and love others as ourselves. If our purpose for being created is to know, love and serve God, and to be happy with him forever in heaven; forgivenesss is a crucial part of that plan. How well do we forgive ourselves? Are we humble, accepting Divine Mercy? Do we really trust Jesus with our lives? Can we set our pride aside and not let everything be about us, even the wrongs done to us? Are we willing to embrace our crosses and unite them with Christ’s and follow the example he gave us?

“Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But on thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Jesus Christ.” (Philippians 3:13-14)